Thursday, January 31, 2008

Awkwardly Androgynous Moment

Nerdygirl brings forward an anecdote and seeks advice:

So I went to the ladies room this afternoon, as I am wont to do from time to time. There was a woman in there -- sixtyish, short gray hair, business skirt and suit jacket. I had this conversation with the crotchety old bitch:

COB: You're a girl, aren't you?

Me: Yes.

COB: I just wanted to make sure you didn't wander into the wrong restroom by mistake.

Me: That's very flattering, thank you.

COB: I didn't mean to be rude, I just couldn't tell.
She asks what she should have said in response to the COB, so with the caveat that I don't have much personal experience with such sexing confusions, here's my suggestion:
COB: You're a girl, aren't you?

Me: Well, I do lose track sometimes so I keep it written on my hand. [As the COB looks at the hand, flip her the bird.]
Or maybe this one is better:
Me: I guess it's time I re-shave the old mustache! [Flip the COB the bird anyway]
Or maybe even:
Me: [sarcastically] What do you think this is, 1962? These bathrooms have been co-ed for years!


Domestically Challenged said...

OOOh, good ones! I really like the co-ed one!

Me: What, you wanna see? (then of course, I'd drop trou right there)

Of course, if I really wanted to torment the COB:

Me: (looking her up and down like I can't wait to pounce her, I give a blatant come-hither look and purrrr) Why yes I am, are you, my silver kitten?

Dale said...

"My silver kitten" -- I love that one. ;-)

Rebecca said...

Those are good. I did, for a moment, consider lifting my shirt but that seemed a bit extreme. I'm liking the simplicity of "Fuck you, lady," as suggested by someone on my blog. Of course, the real question, since I can't go back and modify the past, is what I will say the next time I see her.

Dale said...

Rebecca, you CAN modify the past. Don't sell yourself short.

But yes, a simple "fuck you!" is the right answer in so many instances.

As for the future, I think you should make sure to remind this old woman of her mistake every single freaking time you encounter her from now on. Every single time -- long after it is funny or even comfortable.