Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Stalls and Decorum

This morning I was shocked to enter the three-person shower stall at the locker room and find that a big fat man was already showering in the middle stall. The middle stall! I delayed for a moment hoping I could wait him out, but it was clear that he was only getting started, and as there was no actual reason to delay, it would have only increased the awkwardness for me to stand there naked as though waiting for something. This left me no choice but to shower in an adjoining stall, either port or starboard, and either way I found I was within two feet of a big fat guy soaping up his junk. And don't let yourself believe there are walls or any other barrier separating what I am euphemistically calling stalls here. There's just a tiled floor connected to a single drain in the center underneath three shower heads and three soap dispensers. Stall boundaries are a matter of custom, or in other words, subject to the law of the stronger.

The middle stall?! Doesn't everyone know the middle stall -- either here, in the case of locker room showers, or equally in the case of public toilets -- is for emergencies only? Heck, I'm not even sure if the middle stall toilets function in my building because I've never faced an emergency urgent enough to try them out. I have seen other people in them, but I make no assumptions about what they're actually doing in there, especially given all the unseemly new realities that Senator Larry "Wide Stance" Craig dragged into the light (background, more, more). In cases where both wing stalls are occupied, I have always chosen either to wait or to seek an open stall on another floor. This is how decent people behave, and so it should be with locker room showers.

1 comment:

Domestically Challenged said...

Wow. In Girl locker rooms we do everything in private. Well, except change, that's public. Our showers are all private as are our toilets. At least any locker room I've been into.