Thursday, March 13, 2008

Have You a Pulse? or, My Generous Blogrolling Policy

When an Exciting New Blog comes to my attention, I am very inclined to link to it from here, and that is usually simultaneous with my adding it to my google reader.

The grounds for a given blog's Excitement and Newness will vary, but the two most common categories are "it's funny" or "it seems thoughtful." For the rare blog that is both funny and thoughtful, I'm sad to say it gets only a single appearance in the blogroll.

If it's too thoughtful, too funny, or too thoughtful and too funny, it will make me jealous and I might not blogroll it out of spite. But don't worry because I have a massive ego, a boundless capacity for delusion, and endless mood swings so it takes little time to find ways to rationalize away a person's better blog. Here are a few of the many rationalizations that have served me in this way -- feel free to borrow as you wish:

  • Obviously that person is a trust fund recipient who is exempt from the cares of the world and can spend endless amounts of time perfecting the art of blogging.

  • Clearly that person was raised in the Soviet or Chinese blogger systems, wherein they sweep up promising bloggers at an early age, nurture them in remote blogger residential compounds, inject them with writing-enhancing hormones, and organize their entire lives around blogging. I pity him, really.

  • Jeebus H. Rove! That person is even more obsessed with this blogging crap than I am. It would be cruel to leave her off the blogroll. It's a pathology, really, the importance she places on doing well at this, but it is what it is, and I must do what I must do.

  • I strongly doubt that person lived a childhood that was as sad and deprived as mine was.
I can't remember why I even bothered starting a post on this topic so I'll just close this out now. Thanks for reading.

3 comments:

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

I, in fact, find you witty. I should be happy to link with you at this time.

Dale said...

SJKP -- man oh man that's a long name -- consider yourself linked.

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Well, most people call me "sir" for short. B-)

But you can call me Portlandiensis.

Or Sam, if that's too wierd. And it is kind of wierd.