Sunday, March 2, 2008

Smart Sinner Mind-Reads Sneezing Jesus

I just watched a tee-vee preacher who digressed from his randiness for the world's ending long enough to explain what the early chapters of Genesis really mean, apparently dissatisfied with previous efforts. He very confidently asserted that god was right to say Adam and Eve died on the same day they ate the forbidden fruit because they died in spirit -- you know, just like the text of Genesis 2 states:

And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
OK, so it doesn't say anything about spirit versus flesh, but that didn't subtract one iota from the tee-vee preacher's certainty. He brought the flesh-spirit / born-reborn distinction from John 3 to bear on this confident reading, no more than begging the question of how the teachings attributed to Jesus are supposed to relate to the book of Genesis.

But why linger over it? He later saw fit to claim that "all that education will do for you is make you a smart sinner," which -- I think I understand him correctly -- is a bad thing to be. Mind you, his education has done more than make him into a smart sinner; his education has given him rare and deep insights into the intentions of his favorite god(s).

All was not lost. The visual aids in his sermon were superb, some of the best I've seen: a gigantic space Jesus overlooking the earth clearly on the verge of a cataclysmic sneeze; a Jesus in Eden crouching over a supine, nearly-created Adam, watched by an assortment of familiar wild animals, including a buck with a huge set of antlers. It's far from clear why the buck needed antlers in Eden, since conflict and sexual rivalry weren't supposed to be possible yet.

Darn. I wasn't able to google the latter image.

(Cf. Genesis and its confusions)


Zennalathas said...

I've got the whole my hands...

Martin R. said...

Are you absolutely sure that isn't a photograph taken from the Hubble telescope? I mean, it just looks so entirely credible.

Dale said...

Martin, Zen, it does look incredibly realistic. I just hope I'm on the opposite hemisphere if Jesus has another one of these sneezing fits.

Zennalathas said...

Now we know what happened to the dinosaurs: Jesus had a cold.