Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Welcome to Portland. Don't Drink the Water.

Our faire Puddle-Town is being drugged by its own water supply:

Trace amounts of four pharmaceuticals were found in Portland's water, according to an investigation conducted by the Associated Press.

They were acetaminophen, caffeine, ibuprofen and sulfamethoxazol.
My personal coffee intake alone can credibly account for high levels of ambient caffeine, and I suppose I can't be surprised to see acetominophen and ibuprofen carry their struggle for other-the-counter pain-killer supremacy into the very waters we drink. I have no idea what that last one is, so it's probably causing my shin splints, bad attitude, and listless, unimaginative, yet surprisingly high-maintenance hairstyle.

A quick check of wikipedia reveals that sulfamethoxazol is an antibiotic best described using words from biochemistry courses taken only by people who can no longer summarize their academic courses in under ten increasingly dull sentences. So you stop asking, and little by little, the distance between you grows. Soon you barely even wave at one another. Cards come only on the major holidays, then not at all. The only and last question between you is who will read whose obituary, which begs the very open question of whether the name in the obituary will conjure a dim memory.

That's what drugs do to people. Say no to them -- yell no if you must. If you're coming to Portland, bring your own water, or drink beer. I'll stay with coffee.

2 comments:

Domestically Challenged said...

See, this has been all over the news, nationwide, yet it's a problem that has been known for at least a decade! At least I learned about it 10 years ago in med school as a likely cause of early onset puberty. There are several drugs in drinking water, hormones, heart meds, antidepressants, antibiotics... Because we pee them out and the treatment plants can't filter them out of our drinking water that was once pee. LOL I just like saying that, sorry.

Dale said...

Mmmm pee water. The invocation of pee water makes me slightly glad that the water also has some antibiotics in it. ;-)