Saturday, May 17, 2008

Conservapedia, Gays, and ... Goats?

It's been a long time -- too long, really, for reasons I'll elaborate presently -- since the last time I checked the ten most frequently visited pages on conservapedia, the right-wing whine of "me too!" in response to the alleged biases of wikipedia.

As of this writing, conservapedia's top ten most viewed pages are these:

1. Main Page‎ [2,670,856]
2. Homosexuality‎ [2,402,325]
3. Goat‎ [894,480]
4. Wikipedia‎ [397,368]
5. Homosexual Agenda‎ [333,164]
6. Arguments Against Homosexuality‎ [333,103]
7. Ex-homosexuals‎ [317,916]
8. Homosexuality and choice‎ [312,310]
9. Examples of Bias in Wikipedia‎ [295,868]
10. Homosexuality and Health‎ [293,207]
The conservative-minded web-browsing reference-seeking audience maintains its profound interest in homosexuality, with six of the top ten pages relating to the kind of love god finds abominable.

I would say it betrays a conservative streak in my own thinking to take some comfort in the consistency of this obsession over time; I would say that if I weren't already commenting on evidence that the true marker of conservative thinking is a wide-ranging obsession with homosexuality. And really, as much as I care about gay rights as an instance of a larger concern about human rights, I simply can't compete with conservative-minded web-browsing reference-seekers when it comes sheer volume of thought devoted to homosexuality.

The surprise entry here, of course, is goat. Goat? What can account for that? I simply had to check the article itself to see what about goats could possibly part conservative-minded web-browsing reference-seekers from their active research on homosexuality, but I found only the sort of oversimplified dreck I would expect from a conservative-oriented or child-oriented reference site:
A goat is a small mammal closely related to sheep. They are raised primarily for meat, milk, and, in the case of the angora goat, for their hair which is used in garments. Female goats are called does. Male goats are called bucks. A male goat that has been neutered is known as a wether. A young goat is called a kid.

Goat's milk, like cow's milk, is used by humans for drinking and making cheese. Since goats are Kosher, it is likely that 7 pairs were taken on Noah's Ark.
Set beside the comparable article on wikipedia, this is pretty thin gruel -- everyone noticed its straight-faced presentation of Noah's Ark as fact, right? -- but conservapedia would remind us that wikipedia's relative depth and sophistication actually evinces nothing more than anti-conservative bias (see 9th most visited conservapedia article).

But I digress: maybe I don't know the secret signals, but I see nothing about homosexuality in the conservapedia article on goats. What am I missing? Wherefore the conservative obsession with goats?


mikesdak said...

I suppose the goat inquiries could be related to this....

Incidentally,they didn't get the bill passed. I haven't been able to find out why not.

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

To me, the defining characteristic of C*pedia is their utterly banal "we don't really care" approach to subjects that aren't part of what they feel as topically relevant to the kuturkampf.

For instance, I know that we can all agree that Clackmannanshire is a county in Scotland. That's all C*pedia has to say on it: "A Scottish County". There's no note on how it's a stub. No illustration. No nothing. Just those three words.

But if you want to read about their version of Christianity, or how unfair it is that they have to share the same planet with liberals, or whether or not people somewhere are having sex with animals then, yo, you'll be busy for days.

I have to take a shower now. Yucky.

Dale said...

Excellent points, SJKP.

Ew, Mike. I hope not. I hope I can soon forget I read that.

Yep, it's definitely shower time.