Saturday, May 17, 2008

Fleharty! thou should'st be living at this hour

The opening paragraph of presidential candidate Rick Fleharty's article on health care illustrates why we need his faltering presidential campaign to storm back into public view:

Health care in this country is out of hand. There are so many people without basic health care in this country that it can go to the moon and back. It is very sad that our leaders take better care of themselves than they do of the people who support them. There is a way of doing health care in this country so it is simple and covers everybody will have it. Before we can have a good health care system, a few ground rules will have to be set. One: you can’t save every child that is born. Two: we can’t extend every life to live longer than the natural cycle. When you try and save on both ends, it is like a teeter totter with more weight on each end; sooner or later it will break. The board that breaks represents the system that supports the health care in this country and when the demand placed on it is more than it can support, it breaks. Then you will have a bigger problem than you did before.
What other candidate offers insights as bracing and needful as these? Do John McSame, Hillary Clinton, or Barack Obama have the cajones to clearly recognize and openly acknowledge the zero-sum relationship between health care availability and moon landings? Or the candor to admit that serious reform of health care policy inescapably entails substantial cullings of from both tails of the population bell curve? Or the audacity to frame metaphors around teeter totters?

Surely this is a voice that sounds like the sea, pure as the naked heavens: Rick Fleharty and he alone sees that America is a fen of stagnant waters (altar, sword, pen, drive-thru) and dares to roil those waters with fart bubbles no one can ignore.


Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

The Pride of Ponca City seems to have a space program, if I read this out-of-context snippet:

There are so many people without basic health care in this country that it can go to the moon and back

Although I don't think that un-health-insured people make a particularly efficient rocket fuel, so I'd take this one back to the drawing board.

Also, the fuel would object. Andi it's probably against law and several moral codes ... but courage means you do what you gotta do.

I'm guessing the moonbase will be built from Legos. The plan to staff it will hit a snag when he discovers that Martin Landau was only playing a moonbase commander in Space:1999, and he's too old to go up anyway.

Dale said...

SJKP, that's the beauty of the Fleharty campaign -- there's no way to get any of it wrong and no way to increase the level of absurdity from the outside. It's a drunken snipe hunt played in a hall of funhouse mirrors. Rules? Logic? Snooze! Just vote for Rick!