Saturday, June 28, 2008

Game of the Day: iPod Shuffling Unto Political Unviability

Matthew Yglesias proposes a Game of the Day:

1. Take out your iPod (or Zune, I guess...really, who buys a Zune?)
2. Press shuffle songs.
3. Answer the following: a) How many songs before you come to one that would absolutely disqualify you from being President? b) What is that song?
He didn't exactly tag me, but he also didn't not tag me, and I want to play. My variation of the game will not involve the iPod itself since the headphones are currently caked with sweat and I don't want to deal with that. So instead I'm shuffling across my entire iTunes library in all its vastness, which seems more sporting anyway. So here it goes, live-blogged.

Metallica, "Leper Messiah" -- I barely listen to Metallica's lyrics, so I have no idea if this would disqualify me or not. Probably it would. But it f__ing rocks!

Dixie Chicks, "So Hard" -- Hmm. This would certainly lose some votes from the knuckle-draggers who are still, contra Natalie Maines, proud of president Bush. All sixty of them. Moving on.

Foo Fighters, "Everlong" -- Dang. I forgot how good a song this is. But no, I don't think it would DQ me from the presidency.

Elliott Smith, "Independence Day" -- Since he killed himself instead of embracing Jeebus and/or Wal-Mart, this might just be the one. But I don't really like this song so this isn't the hill I want to die on.

Arcade Fire, "Neighborhood #4 (7 Kettles)" -- Nah. This wouldn't shock or appall anyone. All this song ever does is spawn fresh new Arcade Fire fans.

U2, "Out of Control" -- U2 from its infancy, before they became bigger than god! No way. This is destined for lame oldies playlists and Best of the 1980s collections. Wow, how young Bono sounds.

Bob Dylan, "Simple Twist of Fate" -- Dylan certainly has an edge and a cachet in the political realm, but this is no "Masters of War."

Pixies, "Tony's Theme" -- Gawd this song rawks. I wouldn't want to be president if it meant giving this song up. TOE! NEE! TOE! NEE!

Lucinda Williams, "West" -- Wow, what a mood swing from "Tony's Theme." Shuffle is fun. But no, I could still be president through this.

J.S. Bach, the Sarabande from Cello Suite #1 -- I'm sure this would get me tagged as elitist if one of the earlier ones hadn't. The cumulative effect is adding up to "not presidential material," I'm afraid.

Nirvana, "Dumb" -- Kurt Cobain also didn't seem to think that whatever is wrong with America is bound to be overpowered by what's right with America. The ice gets ever thinner.

Tori Amos, "Girl" -- She's weird. The sounds of ice cracking.

Liz Phair, "May Queen" -- Anyone who knows anything about Liz Phair knows that she doesn't hate sex. Can America accept a president who doesn't hate women who don't hate sex? Doubtful. Very doubtful indeed.

Bob Dylan, "A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall" -- That tears it! Obviously I hate America and love the terrorists.

I don't want to be president anyway.

If it interests you and you have a blog, do play along.

No comments: