Monday, June 9, 2008

Sally Kern's Son: Definitely Not Gay

One of my far-flung correspondents, D.P., has linked me to information that should put everyone at ease about Jesse Kern, the son of retarded homophobe, ignorance enthusiast, and Oklahoma state representative Sally Kern:

In an interview with the Tulsa World on Friday, Jesse decisively put those gay rumors to rest by stating he is “Straight and not gay.” To help support that statement, he also stated that he is celibate, a music teacher, and the director of the School of Metaphysics in Des Moines, Iowa.

Yep, that’s right. Sally Kern’s son is not a homosexual. He’s just your regular old celibate music teacher who happens to be fascinated with metaphysics.
Let no one doubt the sexual orientation of the son of the woman who gave the world the insight that homosexuality is a greater threat than terrorism and that schools should give students passing grades for scrawling "god done it" in reply to tough science questions.

Every morning, I wake up in Oregon and thank Sally Kern's imaginary god that I'm not in Oklahoma any more.

4 comments:

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Yep, that’s right. Sally Kern’s son is not a homosexual. He’s just your regular old celibate music teacher who happens to be fascinated with metaphysics.

There's got to be a Seinfeldish joke to be made here. Sadly, I was never that big of a fan of it.

Leaving aside for the moment that these people are making the case for why Oklahoma was created so that some other benighted states with histories of ignorance would have one to feel superior to, what the hell is it about anti-gay people that they either have badly-hidden behaviors or relatives that highly suggest a history of self-loathing?

I guess people are that shallow, mostly.

On a tangential note, the Seattle Sonics are trying to move there. Hope that works out well for them.

Dale said...

Oklahoma's state motto should be "At least you're not Oklahoma" or "America's cautionary example since 1907." Put that on the quarter.

I wish the Sonics weren't such shits about it all, but I'd prefer they get out of town before the city of Seattle cuts them another welfare check. Good riddance.

OKC should be careful what they ask for. There are a lot of NBA franchises out there that are just "moving merchandise" and not trying to, you know, create a successful basketball team. The Sonics may prove me wrong but I place them in that category.

mikesdak said...

He may not be gay,but after checking out the website for the School of Metaphysics in Des Moines, I doubt he's the apple of Mom's eye.

http://www.som.org/

Dale said...

Good call, Mike. I don't know what all that woo is, but whatever it is, it isn't stupidity pressed to the shape of Biblical literalism, which seems to be Sally Kern's creed.