Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Pets: The Gateway to Nihilism


Saudi Arabia's religious police have announced a ban on selling cats and dogs as pets, or walking them in public in the Saudi capital, because of men using them as a means of making passes at women, an official said on Wednesday.
The theocrats see through all our little tricks, don't they? They've observed the way women peer through those little air slits in their mandatory coveralls and notice men with dogs or cats. This can only lead to speaking with the men, and before you know it, the parties will be engaged in deeply ungodly marriages involving men, women, dogs, cats, crocodiles, chickens, parking meters, wristwatches, the letter Z, and so on. Rick Santorum knows this danger all too well, albeit as the spokesmodel of a different-ish god.

The only remaining question is how to deal with the existing pets currently pressing impressionable Saudis into the arms of sin. What would Allah do? The article is too kind to say, but grandfathering them in seems a craven surrender to moral decay. Would it count as parody to suggest stoning all the pets to death? These theocrats are so good at exceeding parody, I can't be sure. And I don't think I want to know.

1 comment:

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Also they frown in premarital pets because that just might lead to dancing.