Monday, September 15, 2008

Needed: Gall Mitigation

Pope Benedict Sixteen (it only seems like more than sixteen) wants you to know that amassing vast stores of wealth and prioritizing possessions is a bad idea when he and his church are not doing it. Over the weekend, he emerged from his squalid shack at the Vatican (pictured), donned one of his finest gold-laced dresses, and counseled the flock on the filthiness of lucre:

Paraphrasing from the New Testament, Benedict decried "insatiable greed" and said "the love of money is the root of all evil."

"Have not money, the thirst for possessions, for power and even knowledge, diverted man from his true destiny?" the pope asked.

Benedict blasted modern society's thirst for these new "pagan" idols as a "scandal, a real plague."
No, that's not a real plague, nor a real scandal. A real plague is the sort that killed 30-60% of the people of Europe despite countless millions of prayers uttered by the Catholic faithful; and a real scandal is the sort where a church protects and shields child rapists.

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