Saturday, September 20, 2008

Shut Up and Drive

Once again, General Motors has gone to great lengths and spared no expense in an effort to produce another practical, afforable, stylish press conference about an electric car. The market delivers again!

During its press conference, GM was careful to let reporters know the following:

The car will have a 40-mile range on batteries alone (G.M. says it’s on target to deliver that) and a top speed of 100 miles per hour.
I can only guess that "on target to deliver" is a phrase extremely familiar to holders of GM stock for the last, oh, two decades.

And who could gainsay the wisdom of promising a top speed that will constitute a moving violation on every street and byway in the nation? Americans reserve the right to imagine ourselves in situations in which, for love or money or fame or reputation, traveling at 100 MPH is de rigueur. Look at the way Sally Field has been airbrushed to gaze at Burt Reynolds as he defies that comically overweight sheriff. Does anyone really expect her to spread her legs for someone who can't get it up to 100MPH? This is America, goddamit! What are we, waste cheese?

Still. GM, do us all a favor and shut the fuck up. Stop talking about the better cars lying just over the horizon. Just stop it.

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