Saturday, October 25, 2008

All My Friends Ran Marathons

Some guy on the internet has posted the top ten reasons not to run marathons, and they all sound very distressing. The reasons I should be dead include the following:

10. Marathon running damages the liver and gall bladder and alters biochemical markers adversely ...

9. Marathon running causes acute and severe muscle damage ...

8. Marathon running induces kidney disfunction (renal abnormalities) ...

7. Marathon running causes acute microthrombosis in the vascular system ...

6. Marathon running elevates markers of cancer ...

5. Marathon running damages your brain. The damage resembles acute brain trauma. ...Other studies indicate confusion in post-event marathon runners ...

4. Marathons damage your heart ...

3. Endurance athletes have more spine degeneration ...

2. At least four particiants of the Boston Marathon have died of brain cancer in the past 10 years ...

1. The first marathon runner, Phidippides, collapsed and died at the finish of his race ...
Sure, it damages vital organs, compromises necessary body functions, increases the risks of fatal ailments, induces confusion, and by legend killed its first participant, but it totally rocks your quads!

It also causes severe perspiration and occasions laboratory-perfect conditions for chafing.

Um, I smell a crank. But I am grateful for an excuse, if a thin one, for re-posting the greatest album cover of all time.

(via Cranium Creek)

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