Thursday, November 27, 2008

Southpaw's Lament (Small Arms Edition)

The charitable reader will draw no untoward inferences from the fact that I was browsing for rifles when I had, just a post before, blogged of patience-trying houseguests and in favor of Buy Nothing Day. Sometimes 2 + 2 is something other than 4.

Anyhoo, review this image of a Remington Model 700 XCR. Can you spot what has so annoyed me that I've been moved to add another entry to this precious, precious blog? Go ahead and try; I don't think you'll get it.

Is it that guns are used to kill living things? No. (Besides, only if you aim well! Am I right? Ha ha ha.) Is it that people with guns and who shop for guns are creepy? No. Is it that I am easily annoyed? Well, yes, but that's not what I meant.

It's that this image was gotten to by clicking a hyperlink located directly beneath a heading of "Select Your Left-Hand Firearm" on a page titled "Remington Left-Hand Firearms." Does that look like a firearm for a left-handed shooter? Well, does it, punk? Do you feel lucky? No. It doesn't look like that, and I can tell you don't feel lucky. The bolt is sitting directly in the left-handed shooter's face -- exactly the sort of design characteristic that flags a rifle as an ungainly right-handed tool when it comes into the hands of a peace-loving, easygoing, handsome, charming, modest left-handed shooter.

Dammit. They can't even get the image right. Some simple mirroring of the image would have done it, something like this:

That, my dear sweet Remington Arms company, is what a left-handed rifle looks like in profile. It took me roughly six seconds to generate that image based on your half-assed original, and I assure you I have barely enough knowledge to get confused and angry when it comes to graphics manipulation on the computer machine.

So, now that I've fixed Remington's web site, I get a free Remington Model 700 XCR, right? What are the chances I can get it by Friday?

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