Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Confessions of a Crap-Wrapper

I present visual proof that I am an unapologetic crap-wrapper when it comes to the ritual of adding an extra layer of packaging to Christmas gifts.

Here we see a gift for my son -- shhh, it's a [expurgated] -- that is wrapped in a few leftover pieces of wrapping paper, a red Santa-themed paper and a green ornament-themed paper. Sure, I start out with the goal of making it look tidy and neat, but I lose patience with that approach somewhere in the ninth or tenth second and wind up with something like this.

I tell myself that this crap-wrapping approach boosts my eco-friendly bona fides by minimizing paper waste, but I don't believe that and I recommend you don't either.

I will say this in favor of crap-wrapping of this sort: it does make it very difficult to unwrap the gift, check what's inside, re-wrap it, and feign surprise on Christmas morning. When I was a pre-teen and teenager, I heard of other kids who made a habit of doing that. Each feat of crap-wrapping results in a unique creation that can never be duplicated, even by the original crap-wrapper, so it would be extremely difficult to reassemble the original mess. Of course, this assumes the original crap-wrapper actually remembers the look of the mess and can distinguish it from a re-do.

Maybe.

2 comments:

Domestically Challenged said...

Wow!!! Dale, that is really, really bad!!! I do believe you have raised the art of crap-wrap to an entirely new level! I do like the dual pattern though, that looks pretty cool.

Laura said...

You know, Dale, if you called it a Christmas collage, it would elevate the package to a whole new level.