Monday, December 8, 2008

Metrosexual NFL Blogging

I have made this complaint toward the tee-vee screen more times than I could hope to count, but without effect, so now I direct it to the internets: why must [American] football teams wear white pants under white jerseys? Why? Why?

Tonight's example: the Tampa Bay Bucaneers. As you can see from this helpful mockup from the wikipedia page, their team colors are a bold combination of pewter gray, red, orange, and black. OK, replace ugly with bold and you're closer to the mark, but I'll say this about the Bucs' team colors: they're original, and they're not white.

And yet what are they wearing tonight, as they appear before perhaps their only national tee-vee audience of the entire season? White jerseys with red numbers over white pants with red stripes -- the fourth variation shown here. This is ugly and dull in and of itself, and creates a wreck of visual balance when set beneath the pewter gray helmets.

Why not option two? Yes, it includes the regrettable white jerseys, but the gray pants balance the gray helmet. This is as much as can be hoped from pewter, red, and orange.

But no, it's white over white with some gray thrown up top because, presumably, they haven't wanted to spring for white helmets (Penn State won't lend them helmets for the evening?).

Are they ashamed of the colors? If they're ashamed of the colors, they should change the colors, not pretend the colors are actually just accents on a white background.


larryniven said...

Okay, I guess, but is this really the worst thing you could come up with? You don't think that those Jets unis (option 3) are even more hideous, or the throwback Eagles ones?

Dale said...

LN, good points -- concerning the Jets' throwback costumes, it's unclear what color that's trying to be. Blue? Black? Gray? Green? Duck scat?

The throwback Eagles costumes are truly horrible. They remind me of my junior high school's colors, but we even had a better look than that with similar colors.

But you didn't even need to go that far -- the old Bucanneers uniforms were cosmically awful.

But I have noted this trend toward overuse of white in football costumes (esp. pants) for a while and declare it singularly abominable. The mid-90s 49ers costumes with white pants were the low mark; thank gawd they dropped those. But other teams have jumped on it.

Why? Is it because bleach is cheap?

And it's not that white pants are a per se evil -- for teams in which white is a color (Colts, Jets), white makes sense. And in other cases it doesn't look quite as lazy, as in the Cowboys' white throwbacks that balance white with plenty of dark blue.

For the rest, the burden is on them to explain the overuse of white. Use your colors, dudes!

And if the Steelers ever break out in white pants, there will be riots. I know this because I will start them.

Consider all of Western Pennsylvania warned.

Mberenis said...

GO JETS! lol

Great blog! Check out mine sometime ;-)

larryniven said...


I'm so jealous - I never get blogspam. But since I'm commenting anyway, can I just say how much I like the Ravens' black jerseys? Yeah, black is only one of their secondary colors and pretty much anyone could use it, and yeah, as a Steelers fan I'm not really supposed to say anything good about Baltimore, but they're very unsympathetic-looking, which is a good look for football.

Dale said...

LN, I agree with you on the Ravens' costumes. I like the black -- I'll forgive excess black long before excess white in a football costume -- and I also like their purple. I say purple is underrated as a football color.

My only problem with those, and it's a quibble, is that they look a lot better up close than they do at typical tee vee camera range. The wide shot loses some of the color and contrast.

And while I'm on it, the Steelers have great uniforms. May they never change them.