Saturday, January 3, 2009

Rethinking Minnesota

Let's back up the bus a moment here. We're quite sure that Minnesota needs a second US Senator, right? So we're quite sure all this striving is not in vain?

Coleman trails Democrat Al Franken by about 50 votes.

The state's Supreme Court had ordered that rejected absentee ballots be counted if local officials and each campaign could agree that the selected ballots were rejected mistakenly.

Local officials identified 1,350 such ballots. The Franken campaign wanted to count those and leave it at that, but the Coleman camp took issue with hundreds of them and sought to add about 650 more.

Since the Franken campaign would not agree to these ballots, the Coleman campaign sought the intervention of the state's high court. The court is considering the request but has not set a hearing at this point, and it is still unclear whether it will.
Candidly, Minnesota is one of those states that people tend to forget about even in the best of times. Minnesota as a place name could easily pass for the name of one of those forgettable Canadian provinces known for cold temperatures, low population densities, and vast expanses of nothing worth looking at.

Check out the Minnesota quarter. Is there a sadder state quarter lost in the cushions of couches? It depicts some sort of duck, a couple of drunks adrift in a boat, and a map of the state. The map of the state includes the state motto -- "land of 10,000 lakes" -- lest anyone forget that they've seen that on a license plate now and again.

Minnesota already has the Mall of America. It's not the Mall of Minnesota, but the Mall of America-- it's therefore something akin to the District of Columbia, which has zero Senators. The M of A is the mall for all of us: man and woman, black and white, young and old, straight and gay, affluent and just-want-to-look-affluent.

Actually having been to the Mall of America, and having seen fit to buy a shirt in one of the stores there; and also having lived in states represented by two duly elected Senators, I can say that I'd rather have the Mall of America and the shirt than the two Senators. Their greatest mall represents all of us. Isn't that enough?

Minnesota already has a Senator, Amy Klobuchar, and I suppose you can't blame her for getting involved in the Coleman-Franken thing. But isn't her involvement proof enough that Minnesota is adequately represented in the Senate?

Minnesota's other senator, Democrat Amy Klobuchar, told the Minneapolis-St. Paul Star Tribune this week that if the state Canvassing Board -- which is tasked with tallying votes -- certifies a winner, the Senate should "consider seating that person pending litigation."

Klobuchar's statement prompted Cornyn, a Republican from Texas and the chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, to threaten a filibuster to block Democrats from seating Franken ...
Sure, the Wide Stance morons are threatening to cause a stink over it, but why indulge them?

Maybe Franken and Coleman could be given a couple of tire irons and locked in a big room. The one who emerges alive is charged with aggravated manslaughter and sent to jail. Rights to the video feed are sold and the proceeds go to rebuilding that collapsed bridge.

Do we have a deal?

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