Sunday, February 1, 2009

Phelps Threatens Republic

Michael Phelps might well turn out to be among the top three or four athletes we ever see, but he's also terrible, horrible, no good, very bad pot-head:

[A] British newspaper published a photograph of the swimmer smoking a marijuana pipe.

"I'm 23 years old, and despite the successes I have had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner that people have come to expect from me," Phelps said. "For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public -- it will not happen again."
Of course it won't happen again. And he's right to say we all expected him to be completely and totally innocent of devil weed. What he did was sick, twisted, wrong, shameful, disgraceful, damn-near unforgivably repellent. How will we explain this to the children? How can we look our grandmothers in the eye? Is that the sound of baby Jesus crying I hear?

But seriously. Who, exactly, is forcing this groveling? Is the US Olympics team threatening to keep him off the 2012 team? He really needs those next six or eight medals to add to the pile?

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

that's exactly what I thought -

he should be unapologetic for his behavior

Anonymous said...

Our founding fathers were all pot heads as well as Benjamin Franklin.

I seem to remember the repeal of alcohol prohibition being caused by the violence in the streets from all the bootleggin gangsters.

Good for you Phelps! LEGALIZE IT!

Anonymous said...

Good for you Phelps! LEGALIZE IT!

Anonymous said...

Good for you Phelps! LEGALIZE IT!

Anonymous said...

Good for you Phelps! LEGALIZE IT!

Anonymous said...

Good for you Phelps! LEGALIZE IT!

Anonymous said...

Good for you Phelps! LEGALIZE IT!

Anonymous said...

Good for you Phelps! LEGALIZE IT!

Anonymous said...

Good for you Phelps! LEGALIZE IT!

Anonymous said...

The fucking drug war is a lie! Chaney owns prisons and the violence would end if we just LEGALIZED IT!

Good for you Phelps! LEGALIZE IT!

Anonymous said...

What the fuck is this danceswithanxiety bullshit anyway?

"demon weed"??? Grow the fuck up you goddamned christian right whackjob. You realize your own governemt is bringing in drugs into this country!? Creepy fucking Bush used to do cocain in the white house. FUCK OFF and Phelps, don't listen to this fucking alcoholic blogger!

LEGALIZE IT!

fydious said...

the only thing he did wrong was apologize. anyone who doesn't think pot should be legal is extremely dumb or ignorant or both. you're a gold medal winner phelps. don't be such a pussy. you wouldn't be in any trouble if someone took a picture of you with a beer and alcohol is far more dangerous than marijuana.

Marcus said...

Anonymos needs to chill out.

1.) There seems to be a hint of sarcasm in this writing.

2.) Did this guy code a bot to submit legalize it 40 times? He probably meant for it to submit 420 times.

3.) Love the fact that he's basically telling you to chill out whilst calling you 'goddamned' and a 'whackjob' even, a 'christian!' wow, what a bevy of insults.

4.) it seems that for anonymous poster, who we can assume is a pothead...pot doesn't work the way it usually does--which is to chill people the fuck out.

Anonymous, you need something stronger...try heroin.

Anonymous said...

Another stupid over paid athlete!! Who cares?? Steroids next?

Anonymous said...

Get High!

Anonymous said...

What I wanna know is where does he get his weed? I need some man!

Anonymous said...

Brings up a lot of questions, like who cares? And why do we feel morally superior ? And why do we support a Media outlet that feels this is such huge news when we have real news to vet? What goals does this news outlet feel they are going to get the gold in this year? Michael is still the same hero. The endorsers of Michael Phelps can choose to act as they wish, but know that the public at large feels this is a non issue -- We should have the courage to act in the manner that we deem responsible as a society and not what antiquated laws dictate. This is our moral imperative.

Anonymous said...

I think this just goes to show how common marijuana use. It should be treated like alcohol. It is no better or worse. You should not drink and drive and the same applies to pot. Legalising it would be another way for the govt to make money.

Anonymous said...

Lots of stupid philosophic comments here. It all comes down to was the shit he was toaking good shit or shwag?

Anonymous said...

Yo' Phelpsie boy do you also use ZigZag "whites" to roll you doob's with or are you a classic "steamroller" fan. Smoke it beaaacth!

Anonymous said...

Ya Dude, can you score me a bag of some good "nugs"

Anonymous said...

Lets face the fact here. "Old Boy" likes to get fucked up from time to time. So what? Thats better the Christian Daddy going home and beating the shit out of his wife and kids becasue he cant find a way to relax in a world full of assholes who prefer to be sober and let teh insanity of human kind and religion control their every move even as they sink lower and lower into depression and crazed porograhic desires. Smoke some grass and stop pounding your wife and tehn taking it out on teh rest of us by acting like a total self ritious prick when you are out in public.

Dale said...

Wow, neat comments.

If it were my call to make, I'd have marijuana legalized. Meanwhile, it's a shame that we have to go through this song and dance of pretend outrage over nothing. Phelps is 23 and he had a good time at a party at which no one was harmed. This is news?

Anonymous said...

Smokin' Dope and Swiming! awesome combo' as long as you dont get caught jerking off in the pool!

Aimée said...

Dale,

I was listening to a commentator on the radio yesterday, and he was expressing that most Americans view marijuana use is akin to cocaine use. Do you think this is true? I live in the land of pot, so I find it hard to understand why such a stink has been raised over something that seems fairly inane.

P.S I really enjoyed all 24 comments ;)

Domestically Challenged said...

How weird, I commented yesterday and it's now gone!

Anyway, I still can't believe this is even news. How sad (scratch that) pathetic, is it that something as insignificant as MJ usage is taking up media time. OK, so really I shouldn't be surprised... seriously.

Besides, I've toked many a time with one of the record holders he just beat out, so I can assure you he is NOT the first olympic swimmer, nor the last, to partake in a 'lil somethin' somethin'.

Dale said...

Aimee, this is an example of the USA's still-strong Puritan streak, in which we get really worked up over things that most of us routinely do and know to be not only harmless but beneficial and agreeable. It *is* insane -- it's not you!

DC, do you really suppose Phelps is not the first competitive swimmer to do this? You even know this to be true from experience!?!? AMAZING!

Actually, no. I know precious few competitive swimmers, but I know just enough of them and well enough to know Phelps is not unique.

This is so very dumb.