Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Star Trek: A Reboot Explained

++++ Spoiler Alert ++++
The extremely well thought out text appearing below this will surely reveal details of plot, character, personal quirks, gratuitous name-calling, and other things decent people try to avoid.



Thus sayeth LarryNiven:
... the new "Star Trek," which I fail to understand as a reboot even though that's what everyone says it is.
Isn't the idea that a crazy miner Romulan went back in time, ass-dragged Spock with him, and made planet Vulcan implode using a red dot thing? And in turn, doesn't this put us back at star date [whatever star date it was before Captain Kirk got old and fat, around when he first assumed the captain's chair of the Enterprise, long before TJ Hooker or Priceline ads]?

Moreover, the Captain Pike story is re-scrambled in this new timeline, although -- damn the luck -- Pike still wound up in a wheelchair in this scenario. That dude can't buy a break in any universe.

So it's an alternate timeline, one with at least two glaring differences: a raging-mad-at-Romulans version of Spock and a big hole in the sky where the planet Vulcan used to be. Presumably the small number of surviving Vulcans, together with their lack of a home planet, implies more human-Vulcan and [whatever]-Vulcan hybridization going forward. Maybe the remaining Vulcans will need to pare back on that insane mating ritual of theirs as a result of their need to branch into other species (so to speak)? This can only be a net good for the dating scene.

Also, in this new timeline, Reboot-Spock knows Reboot-Scotty is a fraud because he knows the older Spock spoon-fed him that beam-to-a-ship-while-in-warp equation that made Scotty so famous in the other timeline. I expect Reboot-Spock will be watching Reboot-Scotty closely for signs that he's getting all his good ideas from time travelers -- perhaps future versions of Spock himself -- and will likely spread nasty rumors about him, give him a demeaning nickname, and otherwise treat him with contempt.

For his part, Reboot-Scotty may well stop making any effort toward increasing his engineering acumen, expecting instead that time travelers will continue to show up and give him useful ideas. That's how this precious, precious blog gets written, so for me this is a no-brainer.

Finally, Reboot-Spock will go forward knowing exactly how he'll look if he makes it to Leonard Nimoy's age. That can't be consequence-free, even for someone so devoted to pure logic.

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