Monday, June 29, 2009

I Don't Need No Stinkin' Autopsy

An important off-blog conversation* about griffin sightings was the occasion for an appearance of the word coloration, to wit (quoting myself):

As I've thought about it, yes, it was definitely a griffin. The confusion stems from the fact that I didn't get an ideal view, and it was also a female judging from the drab coloration. When you look for griffins, you tend to look for the characteristic blue and gold streaks, and the orange dots, but of course, those are only present on the males.
Coloration: I can't encounter that word without thinking of TV's Steve Irwin, who spoke so frequently and so excitedly of the coloration of the dangerous animals he was bothering, and thereupon to the threat posed by heart-stabbing sting rays. I am never far removed from thoughts of heart-stabbing sting rays.

All of which serves as introductory material to the substance of this important blog post: namely, my confident prediction that Michael Jackson's autopsy will reveal that he was stabbed through the heart by a sting ray. I further predict that once again, the mainstream media will label this an "accident," the act of an innocent animal provoked in the wrong way at the wrong place and the wrong time.

But you and I, gentle reader, will know better: finally! Something successfully killed that child-buggering, self-deifying freak!**

* As if!
** Too soon?

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