Thursday, July 23, 2009

Profiles In Excellent Judgment: Urban Cycling


This is how I looked soon after hobbling back home after today's attempt at bike commuting, which ended abruptly -- exactly as abruptly as a human face stops when it slams mouth-first into the edge of a concrete curb, as mine did today a brief instant after my front tire was snagged in the grooves formed by the MAX train tracks I was trying to cross.

It turns out it is very important to cross such obstacles at direct perpendicular. I recommend you make a note of it, lest you're the next to lose half a tooth, scrape much of the skin off your knee, suffer a concussion, and add to your personal store of fears.


Here's another view of the damage as it looked post-treatment under the USA's top-40 health care system. I was never accused of thin lips before this, but this is a whole new level of plump-and-tender.


Finally, this is the delightful chicken statue that my son and wife picked out for me from the hospital gift shop. I love this chicken.

I am substantially less enthusiastic about cycling.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

broken tooth? Daammmnn! I landed on my face once (ok, a couple of times) and ended up with 10 stitches in my lip and exactly 0 broken teeth. You get sympathy because of the broken tooth. Damn!

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

OMG. That looks like something I saw on the Outer Limits once.

Reuben said...

MAX TRACKS ATTACKS!

Dale, you look like shit, but for some strange reason I am more endeared to your blog for this post.

larryniven said...

Sorry, dude - hope it's a quick recovery.

Alex said...

Ouch! But kudos for blogging your suffering!

Get well soon buddy...

Dale said...

Thanks for the kind words, all. I still look like a grotesque of myself as of this writing, but it could have been far worse and I'll recover soon enough.

I do wish I had someone with 'deep pockets' to sue. Dang. ;-)

Laura said...

Ow...looks so painful! Sorry about the tooth. You'll be back to your ol' handsome self in no time.

Anonymous said...

That was just Jesus punishing you for thinking that biking would save the world from the myth of global warming.
Now go buy an SUV, Hippie.

J. Carter Wood said...

Somewhat belated, but sincere, hopes for a speedy recovery, both physically and psychologically.

Hope you're back in the saddle soon, pardner.

- D said...

Dale, my god man you look like Angelina Jolie with Restyln injections! Yowza, it looks incredible painful.

I guess you'll have to bow out of the whistling finals at this years Oregon State Fair. It's going to be a whole new contest this year.

- D

Paul said...

I'm only glad I didn't add "have a crash" to my list of things required before you earn your cycling badge of honor........

Look on the bright side - gives you plenty of time to improve the quality of your blogging......or at least the quantity of your blogging.

Dale said...

@John & @Paul, thanks. @D, no, I'm afraid my state whistling title is beyond my reach this year. Dang. That will make next year's comeback all the more glorious. I just wish I could drink things without dribbling.

Domestically Challenged said...

Holy schiznit! Cycling is EVIL! Hope you are recovering quickly.