Thursday, August 20, 2009

Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except John Lennon and His Monkey

Certainly the cretins who persist in using shop as a transitive verb have something to hide. Hear me now, sons of Cain and/or sons of the men who peopled the community that Cain joined after slaying Abel (see below), and let their daughters hear it too: shop in the sense used here, i.e., "... shop affordable Star Wars Lego sets ...", is not a transitive verb. When one sets out to buy a thing, one is not shopping the thing, but rather shopping for the thing. One shops; one shops around; one shops at particular places; one does not shop direct objects in this sense of shop.

A correct restatement of that imperative would be "shop for affordable Star Wars Lego sets," but more correct would be to say nothing of the kind, since the Star Wars Lego sets in question are almost certainly not affordable, and likely do not deserve to be shopped for at any price.

While I am on this important cluster of topics, if you're shopping for a laugh -- I did not say shopping laughs -- check out Christian Answers dot net's explanation of Cain's wife, which makes this priceless observation among others:

If we now work totally from Scripture, without any personal prejudices or other extra-biblical ideas, then back at the beginning, when there was only the first generation, brothers would have had to have married sisters or there would be no more generations!
So there you have it -- incest is not an extra-Biblical idea, but a founded on scripture. Neat! I shall continue to decline to marry or breed with any of my sisters, politely whenever possible, forcefully if necessary.

1 comment:

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Well, this is why they hate genetics. There are, I'll bet far more genotypes than 6000 years of descent and change* would account for.

The trouble with the Biblical story is that it fails to account for the in-laws, and if they try, you start to feel awkward and funny.

* this is known to people who don't fear science call this evolution.