Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The High-Kicking Concern Trolling of Sheriff Dan Stevens

Retarded hair-dying acrobatically-kicking former film actor and Texas-sized lying asshole Chuck Norris regrets to inform the president that he is embroiled in political controversies of his own making: "I'm writing you," pleads the actor who set the standard for portraying the character of Sheriff Dan Stevens in 1982's Oscar-slighted Silent Rage,

because this is no longer a matter merely about proving you meet a presidential prerequisite in the Constitution. Refusing to post your original birth certificate is an unwise political and leadership decision that is enabling the “birther” controversy. The nation you are called to lead is experiencing a growing swell of conspirators who are convinced that you are covering up something. So why not just prove them wrong and shut them up?
As it was with the rampaging, machine-like villain of Silent Rage, so it is now with President Obama: science created him, now Chuck Norris must destroy him -- or some stupid shit like that. The point is, President Obama and all the damaging questions about where he was born must be stopped. Destroyed not with powerful kicks, mind you -- though Chuck Norris damn sure could destroy Barack Obama with kicks even if the president hadn't been born and street-hardened in an exotic foreign country like Hawaii -- but with powerful words, words doubled, nay trebled, in their potency by the credibility of the mentally-ill, boot-decked patriot behind them.

Previous Chuck Norris coverage on this precious, precious blog here.

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