Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Janus of Sleep

Contemporary speakers of American English would tend to choose words such as two-faced, contradictory, or maybe paradoxical, but I prefer the nobler, more bookish, and far more pretentious ring of Janusian for characterizing my new and unintentional experiment in sleeping badly: narcolepsy combined with insomnia.

I can't sleep; I can't resist the pull of sleep. Neat!

How can this be? For purposes of this blog post, I am not a doctor, nor do I portray one on this precious, precious blog. I have no idea.

What I do know is that for the past several nights, my customary 2am potty-time has led to an indefinite period of lying there failing to fall back to sleep. It's not that I've increased my dosage of any stimulants; it's not that I'm feeling especially anxious about anything; it's not that I am uncomfortable; it's not that my bedtime routine has changed in any notable way; it's not that I have too little or too much light, sound, fresh air, or anything of the sort. I just don't fall asleep, or if I do, it's only after a long and tedious period of lying there wondering if I'll fall asleep before the alarm clock screeches at me.

It's possible that my recent brain injury factors into this, but again, I am not a doctor. I have no idea.

When this happened last night, I made myself a bargain: if I am still awake at 3:15am, I would call off the charade and get out of bed. 3:15am arrived and I followed through.

Sigh.

I hope my fellow speakers of English will choose not to continue my unfortunate use of "customary 2am potty-time" or variants. More than that, I hope for a good night's sleep.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That's a very frustrating problem. Try not drinking anything within 3 hours of going to bed. Maybe then you won't need to wake up at night at all. BTW: I'm not a doctor either. Good luck.