Friday, September 25, 2009

What Has Private Health Insurance Taught Us?

I am so glad we have level-headed bureaucrats from the always-efficient private sector to instruct us in the ways of the human condition:

In April, Rosalinda Miran-Ramirez awoke and found her shirt soaked in blood. Realizing that her “her left breast [was] bleeding from the nipple,” she rushed to the emergency room. Today, CBS-5 reports that this San Francisco Department of Public Health employee has had her claim denied because her insurance company, Blue Shield of California, didn’t consider her situation to be an “emergency.” Even though her doctor told her it was likely a tumor, Blue Shield said that Miran-Ramirez should have known it wasn’t ...
Of course she should have known this was not an emergency! People bleed from their nipples all the time, at least as often as they salivate, urinate, or sweat. To be human is to shed a quart of blood from the nipples every week or two -- this is why women wear bras and why men wear shirts. What kind of weak-willed, do-nothing, craven layabout doesn't already know this, and remind herself of it with each monthly check she writes to her health insurer?

I don't know who this sadly panicky person is, but if you ask me, shifting the ~$2,800 in medical services to her and away from her insurer should be only the beginning of an Important Life Lesson we cannot reinforce enough, namely, if you live in the United States of America, you should not get sick. You should avoid developing any troubling symptoms. You should refrain from experiencing health-threatening events of any sort. To accept the idea that you require medical attention is to betray a despicable weakness and a staggering defect of character that this nation, its accomplished people, its governing institutions, and its profit-oriented health insurers cannot afford and will not abide.

If you are well enough to form the thought of calling 9-1-1, this is proof enough that your condition is not serious, and that you should not inconvenience the authorities or -- above all! -- your insurer. Put the phone down and your chin up. Please keep the lines open for the unmentionable few in genuine, which is to say unconscious, distress.

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