Sunday, December 20, 2009

Your Fear of Santa Claus - You're Not Alone

The Sketchy Santas blog confirms what prior generations could only suspect: that Santa Claus is a walking, talking, jiggling, ho-ho-ho'ing nightmare for children and the adults who compel them to pose for holiday-themed photographs.

This entry may or may not be the most unintentionally hilarious of the lot, but it's certainly not the most genuinely disturbing.

I like the way this mall Santa has interpreted what dressing down would be for the Santa Claus character he has been paid $8/hour to portray. All in all, it's not so bad a portrayal.

In his casual moments, he reasons, Santa Claus would drop the overcoat and cap, but would stay within the signature red-green color scheme. Maybe he'd go ahead and dangle some feathers from his suspenders -- why not? It's vaguely "festive," or "jolly" if you will forget the dead geese. He would go with black sandal clogs for comfort, but not boots, over stockings that introduce a black stripe that goes well enough with the footwear but coordinates with nothing above the waist.

The part where he grips the child to keep him in frame against his will, and presses his facial expression into "goddammit, I am close enough to smiling" have to be seen as necessary compromises of improvisation.

No comments: