Friday, January 22, 2010

Unobtainium as Cat-Flesh


Here is an odd beast recently found in the vicinity of Salem, Oregon:

The odds for a male kitten to have the three distinct colors of orange, white and black are only about 1 in 3,000 ... The reason that tri-color cats are almost always female is because two X chromosomes are required to produce the orange, black and white color pattern ...
What next? A Republican senator from Massachusetts? An African-American president? A Supreme Court ruling holding that corporations are persons for purposes of First Amendment law? A Golden Globe for best drama to a slapdash assemblage of movie cliches tacked to very expensive visual effects?

I predict this cat will be adopted, promptly put up for bid on craigslist or e-bay, and the proceeds of that sale used for something other than the love and support of any cat, living or dead, young or old, male or female, within or beyond a standard deviation of the statistical norm for housecat coloration. I predict the money will be used to buy crystal meth, to make the down payment on a Camaro, to pay off losses incurred at the cat-fights, or to help finance some corporatist hack's political career. Salem's charms abound.

Then again, it seems clear that predictions are for suckers.

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