Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Rick Perry, Bane of Coyotes

Opportunistically secessionist wingnut Governor Rick Perry has told a tale so tall and asshole-ish, it could only have come from Texas:

[H]e needed just one shot from the laser-sighted pistol he sometimes carries while jogging to take down a coyote that menaced his puppy during a February run near Austin.

Perry said he carries his .380 Ruger -- loaded with hollow-point bullets -- when jogging on trails because he is afraid of snakes. But when a coyote came out of the brush toward his daughter's Labrador retriever ...
Thus did He-Palin pull the Ruger from his sweat-wicking microfiber running holster and fell the demon coyote and its legion of pestilential rattlesnakes with a single laser-guided round.

I'm skeptical. I think his armed escorts gunned down the coyote at least an hour before he arrived, that they used AR-15s, and that his holster doesn't wick sweat at all.

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