Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Oil Drilling in Newberg

Let this new web application by Paul Rademacher feed all your most despairing of suicidal fancies by allowing you to center the BP-Halliburton-TransOcean oil spill over a location of your choosing.

I've found that by centering on the spill on sunny Newberg, Oregon, the spill's inky tentacles foul all of Portland, Vancouver, Salem, Lake Oswego, Wilsonville, Oregon City, Gresham, Beaverton, Canby, Aurora, Woodburn, Keizer, Silverton, Sheridan, La Center, St. Helens, Scappoose, Ridgefield, Lyons, Hood River, The Dalles, and other towns too depressingly numerous to list.

It takes a terrible bite out of the Columbia River Gorge and makes a decent try at smothering Mt. Hood, but don't worry -- it's only the north-facing slope, the one the gin-soaked yokels in Washington can most easily see from their creaky, candle-lit outhouses. Nobody likes the north-facing slope. It's a fucking eyesore; in truth, it could use a good drenching in Texas Tea.

Speaking of which, 200,000+ more gallons are expected to pour into the gulf today, tomorrow, and onward until the well is fully tapped.

Drill, baby, drill.

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