Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Quick Note of Reassurance Concerning Almond Milk and Man-Boobs


Now that the blogger automatically shows statistics in its steely robot interface, I no longer have to bother not checking the google analytics interface that was already reporting such information.

I want to assure the lone searcher who came to this precious, precious blog searching for the connection between almond milk and man-boobs that, yes, yes, a thousand times yes, man-boobs are the result of drinking almond milk. The more almond milk you drink, the larger your man-boobs become, and the larger your man-boobs become, the more almond milk you crave. It's a vicious cycle that lays waste to almond trees and shapely man-chests alike.

It is bleak, but we proceed through life with the boobs and faux milks we have, not the boobs and faux milks we wish we had. I wish I had better news for you.

My first historic post on man-boobs and faux milk was this one. Read it and jiggle.

6 comments:

Sheldon said...

Remind me again why I regularly visit you blog?

Dale said...

Sheldon, I never knew in the first place, but I am almost nothing if not almost willing to answer any request: I think it's because good information on man-boobs is not easy to find even in this era of information.

The Lone Searcher said...

Freeze a banana (yes, first take the skin off) and put it in the blender with a cup of almond milk. That's good stuff.

Dale said...

TLS, what do you do with the banana peel once you remove it? Is it still OK to smoke it, or should you use it in a slapstick caper, or ... ?

TLS said...

Dale, it was never OK to smoke it. That's what gives you man-boobs. Just take it outside and use it as compost in your organic garden

Anonymous said...

Almond milk doesn't produce man boobs. The estrogen from soy milk does. And if a man doesn't want them he needs to stop eating red meat, as well as soy milk, because both cause them.