Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The 22nd

Nothing of any enduring interest has ever happened on the 22nd of any month in human history -- surely a bold claim, but one I will demonstrate by the unassailable proof* of reviewing the posts** on this precious, precious blog dated the 22nd of each month of this year.

January. "Unobtainium as Cat-Flesh" -- A carefully-reasoned* rumination on the rare occurrence of a male tri-color cat discovered in the vicinity of Salem, Oregon. The cat has since returned to obscurity, for all I know.

February. "Of Narcolepsy and Immunoglobulin Benders" -- In which I beseeched the blank heavens with bootless inquiries as to precisely how much immunoglobulin I need to drink per unit time to cure my narcolepsy. Even to this day, no answer has been forthcoming, but I can report that a gallon and a half per day for ten straight months is not effective, only expensive.

March."A Very Lars von Trier Welcome" -- What would it be like if Lars von Trier produced tourism videos for Denmark? The Onion does the imagining so we don't have to.

April. "Pug Needs Kiss" -- Noting that the blog bitte ein kuss is a steady source of ravishing eye-candy, if you're prepared to fight through the wrapper of emo. This was actually posted on April 23; evidently overtaken with the pointlessness of that month's 22nd day, I couldn't bring myself to post anything.

May. "The Sun Shines on Big Box Stores" -- In this post I remarked on the waste of materials evident in the architecture of a Target store where I had just spent ~$50. Take that, Establishment!

June. "What About Saying No?" -- This was posted in the waning months of the period during which I thought there was still a little point to be made by demanding that the USA's nominally left-liberal political party do a convincing impression of a left-liberal political party. How silly!

July. "Day 22 -- A song that you listen to when you're sad" -- Something something soundtrack of The Piano something.

August. "Triple Bad" -- Another careful rumination,* this time on how Americans** are staggeringly misinformed, or appallingly dumb, or pretending to be, or something.

September. "First Lines" -- Two parts pretension, one part compliance with my legal obligation to participate in all internets memes, the meme in question on the subject of first lines in literary works.

October. "What Matters More" -- Trolling-within-trolling directed at a more or less routine instance of anti-gay animus from one of god's earthly spokesmodels. And a video of a horrifying doll.

November. "Pew Hates America" -- Substantiating the claim that Pew Research hates the people of this country. Otherwise, why would it keep conducting polls that demonstrate that the people of this country are morons**? 

December. This very post. I rest my case.

* Not really
** Some of them


Eli said...

Your use of asterisks, I have to say, is a thing of beauty.

Anonymous said...

May I suggest November 22, 1963 as a possible time of interest. If you don't know what happened then, well, never mind. TC Don