Thursday, January 6, 2011

Chupacabra Revealed!

Weep with me, fans of cryptozoology, for the chupacabra has been unmasked, and it is boring:
A man shot a strange animal in Kentucky recently, sparking rumors that a real life chupacabra had finally been brought to science ... testing has finally revealed the creature to be something equally odd, but not quite a chupacabra. Turns out, the naked, gray-skinned animal was just a raccoon with a disorder that caused it to lack hair. For some as-yet-unknown reason, such hairless animals are apparently being reported more frequently than ever before in Kentucky.
This goes to show the importance of context. When you're hoping for a shocking revelation of the chupacabra's true identity, a raccoon with a skin condition is a major let-down. In most instances, however, a raccoon with a skin condition is a veritable trove of tragi-comic possibilities.

I can see how a hairless raccoon standing on its haunches, its eyes catching the headlights, would present a fearsome and mystifying spectacle. I can't see how it took this long for a hillbilly to shoot one and hand its remains to a veterinarian.

Sigh. Another lovely rainbow has been unweaved by the cold, fell hand of science.

Previous raccoon coverage on this precious, precious blog can be found here.

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