It turns out that every state in the union has something it can hold up for exceptional, pack-leading shame, but a few stand apart, and a close-ish reading of the data suggests a few regional patterns. Consider, because I've left you little choice, Utah's special shame:
Utah's leadership in porn either means the people there are defying the principles of the Mormon Church, or that they are fulfilling those principles by aggressively searching for that next spouse on youporn. Presumably only the Angel Moroni-etched golden plates give the correct interpretation of this surprisingly unsurprising fact.
No offense, though -- I kid Utah because of its nation-leading porn use. What's going on a few states to the east, in the upper midwest?
Oh, that. South Dakota and Nebraska, being a continuous, flat, featureless, exhausting expanse of grain fields and despair, are also a continuously women-brutalizing, flat, featureless, exhausting expanse of grain fields and despair. Neat.
Swerving wildly back westward, we see a realm of poor judgment spanning from Montana down through Colorado:
Evidently the drunks from Montana collide violently with the coked-up Coloradans somewhere in Wyoming, and why not? If there existed something better to do there, it would have been known long ago.
Here in Fair Cascadia, well, the regional story narrates itself:
We are in the clutches of a classic Catch-22 -- "I am homeless and lonely" begets reaching out for non-human companionship; coupling with beasts begets eviction, expulsion, and unemployment-related foreclosures; and so the sickly cycle turns.
Treat yourself to all the worst-of-class pathologies at Pleated Jeans. It will make you sadder and wiser, but mostly sadder.