Wednesday, February 2, 2011

A Delicately Balanced Pyche is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Beer lovers take heed! It turns out the nightmare that wouldn't leave my thoughts all day was not a dream at all:
Walgreens has released its own brew of beer, called “Big Flats 1901,” which it is selling for 50 cents a can, $3 for a six pack.

The product is in 4,600 of the chain's 7,655 U.S. locations ...

"In this tough economy, consumers are looking for value and ways to make their money go (further)," a Walgreens spokesman told the Tribune.
Evidently, consumers are looking for an inexpensive beer that will delegitimize the very idea of beer -- that is to say, more inexpensive than Coors or Michelob. That is now as close as the nearest Walgreens store, which, for those of us living here in the greater Portland area, means we are no more than 1,000 feet away (I'm pretty sure it's required under a regional zoning ordinance). Hooray?

Speaking of all that, or some of it, or just around the bend from it, this is a substantial and damaged portion of my psyche encapsulated in a brief cartoon:


god-free morals said...

What's the alcohol % of this beer? This is the sort of information that is vital (for the British).

P.S. Could you please just assume that I've made some snooty European comment about the quality of American beers as this saves me the time/effort of actually doing so. Thanks!

Dale said...

GFM, as I dislike contracting dysentery and assorted strains of the flu, I have not stepped in to any of the many nearby Walgreens's's to check the alcohol content listed on the cans of this fine American lager, but I'll be surprised if it's more than 4%.

Weak beer is one of the USA's best-kept secrets for leading the world in obesity -- you have to drink a few gallons of typical American beers before you start to feel the effects of alcohol. By then you've consumed upwards of 8,000 calories, each nutritionally emptier than the last. At that point there's really no use in pretending that going to Taco Bell and adding a few thousand more calories is a bad idea. Might as well! And so we do.