Friday, March 4, 2011

Well, No

Andrew Sullivan posted this startling image -- startling because, well, OK, it's not startling.

Granted, Lionel Ritchie is inherently startling to some of us in the sense of always unwelcome in his occasional unbidden arrivals to our attention spans, but that's just a matter of personal pettiness and taste. Or lack of taste, depending on your tastes.

In much the same way that a child who suffers a terrifying encounter with a dog will form a life-long fear of dogs, my too-frequent encounters with the singles of Lionel Ritchie back when he was huge have given me a strong case of Ritchiephobia.

For me, hell is a place where the music of Aerosmith, Lionel Ritchie, Phil Collins / Genesis, and Steve Miller keeps playing and playing unless you take bold, costly, and time-consuming efforts to shut it out -- or in other words, the FM radio listening area centered on Ponca City, Oklahoma circa middle 1980s.

Where am I going with this? I have already gone, and the answer is clear: very obviously nowhere.


Sheldon said...

Just awhile back in January I was driving from LA back to AZ and right around Palm Springs saw a big ass billboard advertising the coming shows of your friend Lionel Ritchie in one of those Indian casinos. I wonder what its like to be a once national superstar and now making a living playing in Indian casinos?

Dale said...

Sheldon, I've seen the same sorts of signs emblazoned with the name of Kenny -- um, that Kenny guy who wrote that gambler song. The one who looks like Chris Kristofferson or Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart? I don't know his name. He may or may not actually exist. Is there any chance Lionel Ritchie has been imaginary all this time? On balance, I'd see that as a positive.