Friday, May 20, 2011

Thoughts for the Morrow

If you are reading this from somewhere other than Christian Heaven or Christian Hell or Christian Purgatory*, it means the world did not end tomorrow as predicted by the latest batch of eschatology-enthusiasts-with-a-publicity-budget. Or maybe it means you're reading it from somewhere in the world where the time zones have not yet turned the date to May 21, such as the time zone from which I am writing this, in which case there is still time for you to repent, or call dibs on your Christian neighbors' unspoken-for belongings, or whatever.

I will not be repenting**, and I have called dibs on several of the better cars, swimming pools, houses, and pieces of A/V technology in the vicinity of my home. They can be distinguished from similar-looking items in that I have claimed them, and that's enough said about that. If you are in doubt, ask me.

And no, you may not borrow the Mercedes. We don't have long until the Final Conflagration, and I will be driving it. I might allow you to pump gasoline into it if you're nice.

In short, happy End Times to all. I look forward to comparing and contrasting this end of the world with the previous ends of the world we've seen over the ages. We have seen a few.

* Note that the eternal, changeless truth of the Christian god shifted in recent years such that Purgatory may not, you know, exist.

** As to what I would repent if I decided to do so: big things? Small things? Other things? Who gives a shit? That which is not worth asking is not worth answering.

No comments: