Thursday, July 21, 2011

Haiku for Bag


As I write this, I am badly losing a like count battle, the prize of which is the "handsome" bag shown above being offered by the Multnomah County Library's facebook page:
Haiku throw-down! Write a book or movie review in haiku form and post your creative concoction in the comments here - please include the title and author. The poem with the most 'likes' will win this fabulous book bag from the Friends' Library Store.[emphasis mine]
See, that's why I put handsome in scare-quotes above -- fabulous was the word I was searching for; handsome was only a draft. That bag is indeed fabulous.

My review in haiku, which has currently garnered zero likes, is of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Jar-Jar:
George Lucas needs cash -
fourth mansions are expensive!
CGI slapdash.
I am not, by the way, fishing for likes here. I didn't even give it a like myself -- frankly, I think I could crap a better haiku review than that. For example, Hamlet:
Something's rotten there.
Revenge trumps indecision
Regicide repeats.
Or how about The Shawshank Redemption?
Wrongly convicted,
Andy gets busy living,
heads to Mexico.
Not quite last but always least, there's the four to six hours of visual effects on which James Cameron hung the title Avatar:
Unobtainium.
Spears beat tanks. Like Dances with
Wolves
, only no good.
I didn't think much of Inception, either --- and clearly, I have turned this into a chance to snark about movies I dislike using the power of haiku:
In dreams, our secrets
are there for the taking. Thieves
hack in. Confusing.
Likes remain at zero.

2 comments:

Eli said...

That's something you have to do on facebook, right? Can't I just tell you that I like it here and then have you, I dunno, bring that over to facebook somehow? I don't wanna actually use that site.

Dale said...

No facebook for you any more? I thought you'd sort of dropped off that map. Why for? (I didn't miss a blog post about it, did i?)